Where Everybody Knows Your Name
Summary Kirk sends McCoy and Scotty to a biotechnology conference on Starbase Ten to present a paper by Spock. The [[USS Lexington (NCC-1709)|USS Lexington]] picks them up after the conference to bring them back to the Enterprise, but is diverted to an emergency at Mining Colony 47 and drops them off on Denebia. In Meekrab, Denebia's main interstellar port, Scotty suggests visiting a bar, where an "information purveyor" named Spaytak overhears Scotty refer to himself as the "master" of the Enterprise. Thinking Scotty and McCoy are Kirk and Spock, Spaytak finds Krong, a disgraced Klingon, in another bar. Krong refuses to believe that Kirk and Spock are in Meekrab. Nonetheless, Spaytak enlists his associates , Lort, Churt and Dorsoll to capture the two Starfleet officers. Leaving the bar when they learn that their drinks are called "Denebian slime devils", McCoy and Scotty are picked up by a cab driven by Churt, who offers to take them to his "aunt"'s hotel. Churt brings them to the bar frequented by Krong, where a brawl ensues after the Klingon sees that the supposed "Spock" is human. The next morning, the real Kirk and Spock arrive from the Enterprise and find their friends and Krong recovering from the night's activities; the five Denebians are unconscious. McCoy and Scotty convince Kirk to bring Krong to another neutral planet aboard the Enterprise. References Characters Starfleet :Jordan • James T. Kirk • Leonard McCoy • Jason Riviera • Montgomery Scott • Spock • Robert Wesley Others :Amelia • Churt • Dorsoll • Jarek • Krong • Lort • Mamay • Jocelyn McCoy • M'kar • Mot • Nirah • Peter Preston • Shajara • Spaytak Narwingenssen Starships and vehicles : • Locations :Anthraces Cluster • Denebia • Meekrab • Mining Colony 47 • Sector 262 • Starbase 10 Races and cultures :Denebian • Human • Klingon • Vulcan States and organizations Other references :cosmopolitan • Denebian slime devil • fren • ''galopoly'' stew • grits • Journal of Experimental Psychology • mek'leth • tribble Information *This story is listed by its working title, "...As Good as a Vacation", in the Pocket Books Timeline in Voyages of Imagination, due to the limited time between the publication of that book and Constellations. *The story's title is a quote from the lyrics of the theme song of the sitcom , which featured . *This story is the first time Scotty learns McCoy was once married. *By this point Scotty has saved civilization four times and died twice. (See .) *Scotty tells McCoy the story of how Korax referred to Kirk as a Denebian slime devil ( ). McCoy and Scotty also finally realize that the Klingons must have beamed the tribbles into space after Scotty beamed them aboard the Klingon ship. *One passage implies that Mot, Lort, Churt and Dorsoll are Spaytak's brothers, which does not seem to be the case in the rest of the story. *It is implied that McCoy has learned the Vulcan nerve pinch, but is keeping this a secret from Spock. Related Stories * Timeline |}} Category:TOS short stories